Day one of my visit

Sunday morning -- while my Mom made Jeff and me a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice, we interviewed her on video about when she first found out about Angelika (the birth name of Andreas). She told us that she knew about her before she married Wilford and that after they married she paid $40.00/month in child support to her. Apparently, someone at the German Embassy in San Franscisco was stealing this money because when my father went to apply for citizenship, he wasn't cleared based on non payment of child support to a minor child. Even though they had proof of payments, my father got angry and decided not to pursue citizenship any more. We got some great footage of my Mom, at one point she even flips the bird to accentuate how she feels about my Dad. I was a little surpised that there is still so much energy behind her feelings for him.

While we were eating my sister Janyce stopped by with her daughter Julia, which gave us another video opportunity since she had met Andreas the day before. She told us that she called Dad to come help her with a flat tire. Andreas arrived with him and was very nice and warm, but they really weren't able to communicate much since he knows very little English. She said the he and Dad are tight, drinking buddies, and they have really bonded. It's hard to believe that he was ever a woman, even though he is shorter than she expected.

After interviewing her, I called my Dad. He and Adreas were on their way to go for a hike near Draper. Even though half way there, he insisted that he turn around and come pick us up. When Andreas and Dad got out of his van, I was surprised at how gray both of them were. Perhaps Andreas has dyed his hair in some of the photos he sent me or he has just recently started going gray. The most striking feature on Andreas is his eyes, they are very kind.

I, of course, forgot what I was going to say to him and merely said, hello. He said, "Das ist Robert" and gave me a hug. Jeff didn't get the video up and running in enough time so the moment was lost to video.

After I relaxed a little I was amazed at how much German I remembered and could understand. All of us had a wonderful time on this hike together. I learned so much about Andreas's life. He told me that he started the transition at 28. He has had so many surgeries and is now extremely tired of surgeries. His grandparents raised him and were extremely supportive of his need to change his body. He spoke of his "seele" or soul a lot that his sould felt like it was in the wrong body. Another interesting word that he used a lot was "problem". He called his condition 'mein Problem'.

At one point Andreas asked me why I didn't have a lot of contact with our father. I struggled to put the right words on the reason but merely told him that after my parents divorced, I went to live with my mother, and there were too many problems between them. I also said that our father didn't accept me because I wasn't masculine enough for him. He seemed to understand.

About halfway up the trail, Andreas's wife Lisa called and I was able to talk to her. She has the sweetest voice and laugh. Apparently, she really misses Andreas and he misses her. They talk all the time. I told her that Jeff and I would come to visit her next summer or fall. She was extremely excited about this.

My father was extremely nice to Jeff and me. At one point Jeff captured us talking in German together about Andreas. Then I started talking a little about how difficult my journey was to accept myself.

I have to admit there were a couple of strange moments for me. When I told my Dad that Susan offered to have Andreas stay with Jeff and me at her house. He said that Andreas has come mainly to see him and that Andreas is extremely protective of him. I had no idea what that meant. Then, the other strange moment was when I went into my father's house and saw how much he pampers his current wife and stepson. I couldn't help but compare this to the poverty that I grew up in but I also realize that he is in his twilight years and probably realizes that he can't take it with him. I think he is less of a hoarder these days.

Unfortunately, I'm not able to upload any photos but will do so later.